Failed Careers are great. PC's get a random failed career at character creation along with the items someone of that career would have possessed. It doesn't need to be said that they are wonderful mediums for implied world-building that immediately involve and inform players in and about the world.
When making failed career tables, I try to keep two things in mind. First, I try to make the careers so specific that a player can immediately grasp the concept - take ownership of, or define the career themselves. The world, however weird should be understandable and implied only, if a concept is too weird, prepscriptive or requires too much meta-knowledge to understand it shouldn't be available as a failed career for your players. Secondly, the weapon and item need to be interesting. It's ok to play fast and loose with the definition of 'weapon' and 'item' - especially if it's something a player wouldn't pick for their character off of an equipment list or something that isn't even on a equipment list. Interesting can mean strangely useful, something that produces new or odd situations - something that can be used for more than its intended purpose or even provides a narrative, character or adventure hook. You can fit a lot of flavour into the [name], [weapon], [item] format.
While demographically unsound, failed career tables can make for useful encounter tables. I like an exploding d4 to determine numbers of an encountered career.
Below is an example failed career list for a city called Tetragrammatown. Read it and you will get a good feel for the setting via failed careers only.
UPDATE: I've been using this table for one-shot episodic play and slowly over the last year or so this table has expanded along with the setting itself. I think it started as a d66 table, then d68, then d88 and know a full d100. It's been really useful for supporting and expanding the setting and it's feel and has grown to reflect the play that has taken place. It's been a lot of fun. The
Failed Careers of Tetragrammatown
Roll 1d100 to determine your character's backstory. The format is; [Failed Career/Backstory Name], [Weapon], [Item(s)]
- Whipping-Boy, whip, a wooden sign listing the ways you've been a naught boy/girl.
- Trench-Brother, sharpened shovel (as axe), permanently muddy military uniform.
- Dare-to-Die Duelist, pistol with no bullets, black coat with white 'duel me' painted on it.
- Riot Police, tear-gas grenade, plastic see-through shield.
- Reluctant Zealot, cat o' nine tails, prescription rage-juice.
- Living-Book, tattooing needle, an entire book tattooed onto body.
- Satirist/Polemicist, razor sharp wit (0 damage), head and arms locked in a pillory/stocks.
- Faerie-Realm Polluter, oil drum full of chemical by-products, map of local fairy rings.
- Elf-Hater, elf-basher (as club), 'hate' and 'elfs' tattooed on knuckles.
- Puddle-Prophet, lead rod, electric pouring crucible.
- Vehicularist, a pike (to prod people out of your way), a slow and primitive iron car.
- Amateur Aeronaut, a helmet with a big spike on the top, a heavy wood and canvas gliding-suit.
- Natural Philosopher, poisonous bug/plant/element (single use), specialist's tools.
- Gruel-Giver, heavy ladle, keg of gruel (20 rations).
- Noir Detective, twin knuckle-dusters, chainmail-lined trenchcoat (+2 AC)
- Gladiatorial Vampire-Baiter, wooden stake gauntlets, wooden plate armour painted with crucifixes (+3 AC).
- Veteran-Brother, beam-rifle in a locked box (no key), a pocketful of medals.
- Clerical Assassin (official), crucifix with concealed dagger, mitre hat with pistol stitched inside.
- Clerical Assassin (unofficial), poisoned needle, shabby imitation vestments.
- Most-Wanted Warlock, pet anaconda, edgy eldritch tattoos.
- Ratman Exterminator, rat-poison, vicious tunnel dog.
- Puritan-Procuress, spanking-paddle, trunk of spare puritan clothing.
- Puritan-Bothering Pacifist Revolutionary, fruity trombone, book of jokes.
- Dissolute Paladin, bejewelled knightly longsword, plastic bag full of laughing gas canisters and naughty printing-press pamphlets.
- Demon-Fumigator, hand-pump sprayer, holy-water.
- Rocket Smuggler, pocket-rocket, fistful of solid rocket-fuel.
- Prostitute Gangster, switchblade, fish-net stockings.
- Old-Town Rioter, bag of bricks, knitted balaclava.
- Wicked Noble, thumbscrew, flamboyant feather hat.
- Atomic Fisherman, glowing harpoon, radioactive fish.
- One Man Speakeasy, blinding bath-tub gin, backpack distillery.
- Involuntary Rocket Tester, molten weathervane, exhaust-blackened parachute.
- Paramilitary Goon, percussion cap rifle, camouflage tunic and cap (camouflage gives stealth bonus in matching environment).
- Political Congregant, swagger stick, a pamphlet listing the benefits of the new ideology you've invented.
- Industrial Congregant, huge and consecrated spanner (as a mildly holy, two-handed club), sackcloth gasmask.
- Itinerant Explosives Workman, big shard of shrapnel (as dagger), huge hand-cranked iron bomb that explodes instantly after three cranks.
- Agrarian Congregant, ploughshare, emergency ploughshare weaponization kit and manual.
- Book-Burner, single-use spray canister of napalm, slightly singed book (rolled randomly).
- Creature-Collector, Cattle prod (target saves vs paralysis or becomes slowed and loses 1pt of hp), vicious and toothsome creature in a small cage strapped to your back.
- Penal Legionary, metal-pipe arquebus with 2 shots, black and white striped fatigues.
- Quadruple Agent, garotte, d4+1 fake identity papers
- Scientific Congregant, two vials of unstable chemicals, badly repaired spectacles.
- Latest Technology Inquisitor, electric cattle prod (target saves Vs paralysis or becomes slowed and loses 1pt of hp), EZ-lite bonfire with portable stake.
- Authoritarian Thug, heavy hobnail jackboots for stamping, an imposing black uniform.
- Industrialiser, single-use glue gun, furnace-powered engine (to glue onto something).
- Morality Play Thespian, false metal god marionette (as flail), black renaissance theatrical costume and morph-suit.
- Satellite-Botherer, laser pointer, tinfoil hat.
- Indentured Window-Washer, 100-foot pole, bucket of caustic soaps.
- Self-Abusing Flagellant (get it?), stinging-nettle cat o’ nine tails, medieval smut.
- Computational Congregant, soldering iron, huge and humming electronic calculator carried on the back.
- Hypno-Pressganger, hose with bricks in the feet, a paper spinning black and white spiral on a stick.
- Sixteenth-Story Man, clawed gloves, 500 feet of rope
- Clerical Congregant, spiked processional cross, aspergillum of holy water.
- Out-Of-Town Gangster, a crude weapon wrapped in barbed wire, helmet with your gang's motif.
- Expeditionary Brother, long-rifle, wearable waterproof black bivvy-onesie
- Radicalised Protester, disposable rocket launcher with 1 HEAT round, placard
- Gutter Groveller, sharpened spoon, tattered blanket
- Fugitive, pocket pistol, roll a second failed career- gain their items - this is your cover identity or why you are wanted
- Puritan Black Ops, silenced caplock pistol, perfectly boring disguise with belt-buckle-balaclava in the back-pocket.
- Proxy Doxy, concealable single-use blackpowder SMG, pre-contact licence
- Reconstruction Congregant, wrecking bar, hardened cement-stained overalls and shroud, (+2 AC)
- Assembly-Line Congregant, a handful of screws and bolts, stimulant pills (roll a second failed career, this was your second job)
- Folk Hero, ancient acid-stained longsword, soot-covered white stallion.
- Overworked Peon, roll twice and take both failed careers.
- Psalm Singer, you needed no weapon, entire bible memorized.
- Gunpowder Cultist, dodgy hand-gonne (crits you on a critical failure), singed robe
- Corporate Stooge, long-arm stapler, demotivational poster
- Corporate Enforcer, concealable whip-sword belt with factory logo belt-buckle, factory branded sunglasses
- Proto-CEO, a pistol next to a half empty bottle of gin in a desk drawer somewhere, a big cigar
- Lone Gunman (for hire), scoped takedown arquebus in a case, keys to a fancy apartment
- Theocratic Commando, your choice of any pre-1830 firearm, your specific faith's paramilitary uniform.
- Warmachine Welder, Blowtorch, d4+1 armour plates.
- Chain-Ganger, rusty pickaxe, a convict you remain chained to by the ankle.
- Factory 'Hand', a fistful of nuts and bolts you pulled from industrial machinery, d4+1 severed fingers that you keep in a jar (if 5 is rolled you can have a hook hand)
- Alleywayman, two flintlock pistols, masked ratman accomplice/occasional steed
- Soldier of the Sex Worker's Battalion of Death, any historical pre-1815 personal weapon of your choosing, an imperious black military uniform with silver crucifix
- Dragoon Brother, prototype lever-action rifle (breaks irreparably on a roll of 1 damage), cloned horse
- Dogmatic Vigilante, a small non-lethal weapon of your choosing, thematic dress-up, roll a second career for your unassuming alter ego.
- Motorbike Knight, lance, crude poison/goblin powered motorbike
- Deforestation Congregant, crude poison-powered chainsaw, sharpened grappling hook and chain
- Cull Girl, your choice of any historical sword type, skimpy bloodstained clothing
- Snake Handling Acolyte, two snakes with woozifying venom (if swung as a weapon will die), vial of anti-venom
- Law Brother, hand-gonne truncheon, insta-pillory kit (flatpack, probably takes 10 minutes to assemble)
- Logistics Congregant, multitool, iron dolly
- Snail Farmer, snail hammer, very large snail
- Boschian Hell Muralist, large paint encrusted palette knife, rejected proposal sketch of Hell
- Goblin Smasher, really big rock, a glass jar of green slurry
- Keeper of Cursed Books, attack book on chain (d6 reach weapon, knows only to bite) random book - cursed (flipped information as if from evil alternate dimension)
- Tragedian, fencing foil, sad mask with dark and dramatic cape
- Exorcist, heavy chain and padlock, demonic voice in the back of your head
- 'The Free Press' (hahahaha), crutch, a black eye and a broken leg in cast +1 additional broken limb of your choice.
- Polluted River Pirate, acid stained cutlass, NBC resistant coracle
- Bunker Buster, d4+1 stinky sticks of sweaty tnt (d6 impact explosive), a crowbar with flint and steel keyring
- Conscript Brother, pike, iron puritan hat shaped helmet
- Landlord's Retainer, fancy looking musket (tiny calibre, d4 damage), tabard with landlord's symbol (and/or face) on it
- God-playing Scientist - Biologist (or) Engineer, mostly dead human arm (or) haywire automaton arm, reanimated head that babbles madness (or) schizophrenic AI skull.
- Slum-Knight, length of pipe with crossguard, corrugated steel armour
- Anarchic Bomb-Thrower, 2 grenades, get-away mule robed in a punk caparison.
- Weapons Maintenance Congregant, large vat of atramental lubricant, ballistic-weave NBC suit and sackcloth gasmask.
- Underworked Punk, roll two careers, this is your parent's stuff that you’ve borrowed.
