Beneath an Oily Shadow

     

An Oiligan Soldier by An illustrator

A selection of materials I wrote for Idraluna Archives behemothic Antarctica Adventure Project. I extend deepest thanks to An Illustrator who drew the above illustration of an Oiligan soldier for me. You can find more of their work here (some of it can be pretty saucy). The following hexes and such will be more diffuse on the Antarctic webmap and when published IN PRINT, so please excuse what may feel like any excessive repetition or self-referencing in this post.

Do consider joining the project and writing some hexes, or a region, or two. Navigating your way to the project's discord is your best bet. If not, it's still worth checking out, it has a great weird fantasy vibe. Previously, I submitted the Isle of the Scorpions. This time, I proffer those scant patches and outlying islands that have fallen under the sway of an ill-natured and technologically advanced, foreign empire. What I have done here is perhaps excessive and was honestly a big pain to write. So, was the juice worth the squeeze?

Chicago, 1971, my initial inspiration.

## The Occupied Isle

The warm coastal waters that lap this isle foam thickly, filmed with iridescent black oil. The slicked waves stain black the pink coral beaches. Beyond, the isle's loamy, tan soil is studded by scrub and towering prototaxites. Between these primeval, mauve growths lay half-buried ceramic urns, each large enough to house a family. These are the homes of the island’s natives (pop. 3,671): circular-eyed humans with flat-crowned shaven heads, dolphin-leather loinclothes and faintly teal skin (stats as normal, level 0 humans). Before the arrival of the Oiligans, the native inhabitants hunted dolphins and farmed prototaxites in peaceful, leaderless isolation.

Now, the islanders are an oppressed people. They are forced into semi-plantation labour and their champion Sj-ra (stats as nude 7th level club-wielding fighting-man) has been imprisoned. Looming at the island’s centre stands an angular iron observation facility - a radar relay ringed with concertina wire. From here, the Oiligans (36 soldiers, 9 intelligence officers) led by the hawkish and hubristic Major Algonqwa Stern, surveil the Antarctic continent, preparing for a (perhaps large-scale) invasion within the next 12-36 months (known as ‘War Plan Jale’). 

Once every new moon a fume-belching, cargo helicopter delivers 1000 greasy MREs to the observation post and collects that month’s prototaxite harvest. The Oiligan Empire roughly occupies a large extent of what the reader will know to be the North American continent.

Oiligan Empire Observation Post Encounters (1d6)

Walking from the coast to the observation post, Players will encounter at least 3 of the following scenes: 

1. Patrol: a squad of 6 Oiligan soldiers on exercises move tactically through the scrub.

2. Sniper: a teenage native with a stolen Oiligan rifle (see stats for Oiligan soldier) hides in the scrub taking pot shots at any non-native he can see. 

3. Harvest: a family of oppressed natives are harvesting prototaxites under the bored and lazy watch of a single Oiligan guard who calls the family “flat-heads” and “dolphin-eaters”. The family are clearly nervous and will not speak openly.

4. Strike: a crowd of 200 natives sit in the sun refusing to work. 15 of them have potsherd tipped spears. They demand that “the she-witch” Major Algonqwa Stern leave the island and Sj-ra be released. A squad of 6 Oiligan soldiers watch with binoculars from a distance. 

5. Boredom: 2d4 Oiligan soldiers are goofing off, playing Sportsball with a crushed ration can while tuning into a music station on a very tinny sounding radio. They are inattentive.

6. Urn Raid: 4 Oiligan soldiers smash wide an urn’s mouth and begin “searching for contraband.” A native family are hauled out and soon dragged back to the observation post. 

### 28-8 Oiligan Empire Observation Post

Beyond oil-slicked pink-sand beaches, towering prototaxites are grown by urn-dwelling islanders (3,671). They live under the occupation of the Oiligan Empire. The Empire takes most of their harvest and has constructed an observation post to spy on the continent of Antarctica. See region description (The Occupied Isle) for more information and encounters. 

The Observation Post

This military base is fenced on three sides by razor wire and 3 guard towers (each tower is manned by 1 Oiligan soldier and a bell). The base consists of four black iron boxes (not unlike double-sized shipping containers) surrounding a large radar, helipad, large piles of harvested prototaxites and 20 black plastic coffins (which contain native islanders and are to be dumped at sea). The iron structures contain the following: 

1. The Barracks. Beer cans and cigarettes litter the front entrance. The inside is lined with triple-decker bunkbeds, a small armoury is at the back of the container where the soldiers keep their rifles while at rest, on the wall large graffiti lettering reads ‘WE WANT GRENADES’. 6 soldiers rest here during the day, 5d6 bunk here at night. If looted, players find nothing more than typical soldier’s keepsakes and 1000 rounds of Oiligan battle-rifle bullets. 

2. Radar Terminals. Connected to the radar by thick wires. This structure houses 9 intelligence officers (as 1HD Oiligan Soldiers) at work on crude computer terminals. Combing through the terminals the following items can be accessed:

• FILE ‘WAR PLAN JALE’: The hypothetical invasion of Antarctica by Oiligan forces to secure minerals, petroleum and other more fantastical resources. Some military action is expected to occur in 12-36 months. The plan notes no allies but does suggest the Moebians of the Tiger Coast as potential allies. The plan is authored by Major Algonqwa Stern herself.   

• FILE ‘100K DOORS’: Contains the location of an underfunded Oiligan infiltration post in hex 79-01 guarding a ‘significant dimensional anomaly’.

• FILE ‘PROTOTAXITE’: the file reveals the prototaxites are harvested by the Oiligans for a chemical compound they contain. This compound is used by food conglomerates to extend the shelf-life of fried puff snacks. Additionally noted is that the calorific intake of the islanders has reduced by 34%.

• FILE 'POLLUTION SOLUTION’: “While pollution is a laughable concept, prototaxite harvests have decreased inversely to oil spills and plastic litter. If this trend continues it is recommended that the island be flattened into a runway for Oiligan jets and the aboriginal populace relocated elsewhere.”

• DATABASE ANTARCTICA: Contains cursory information on all the regions of Antarctica.  

• PROGRAMME ‘OILIGAN NEWS NETWORK’: Breaking news! It seems the battleship Omega was actually blown up by Antarctic inhabitants! Not, as was supposed, the inhabitants of Oiliga’s most recent conquest. In other news, the Plutarco has had to prorogue the Oiligan senate for the 94th time in 10 years after Party One and Party Alpha threw grenades at each other in the chamber. 

• PROGRAMME ‘SPORTSBALL’: this option tunes the terminal into the 288th Oiligan Sportsball tournament, the biggest one yet! 3 teams of little figures can be seen running round and round a circular pitch holding or chasing a squishy triangular prism. The crowd love it. 

• FUNCTION ‘CALL REINFORCEMENTS’: Selecting this function will summon 5d20 Oiligan Soldiers to the Island. They will arrive via cargo helicopter in 1d100 hours. 

3. The Prison: This structure smells bad. It is locked (key found in the Situation Room safe), loud discordant music can be heard from inside and strobe lighting is visible around the door frame. Within are held: 

• 46 islanders - men and women of all ages.

• Sj-ra, the islander's champion.

• A giant slug-woman, Lady Oobleck of the Geometer Lords. 

Currently, the prisoners all cling to life with 1 HP. 

4. The Situation Room: The black and white 13 striped flag of the Oiligan Empire hangs outside of this structure. Major Algonqwa Stern (stats as 3HD Oiligan soldier with high-capacity 8 round battle-rifle) sits in a leather armchair chair, surveying a map of Antarctica and moving round models of tanks, battleships, helicopters and soldiers to perfect every permutation and hypothetical of War Plan Jale. The room also contains:

• A shrine to Moloch - a golden, vulture-headed steam-engine statuette (worth 900gp) with 6 packets of votive fried puff snacks beneath it and a single silver Oiligan dollar. 

• A camouflage-quilt four-poster bed.

• A safe (containing $300,000 Oiligan dollars, 10 gold bars valued at 2000GP each and the key to container 3; The Prison). 

• A cork board displays a list of bounties with strings trailing to their location on the map:

• $85,000 - Intelligence Officer Sergeant Kimoko ‘Sweet Tea’ Moroneurta. She deserted from the observation post ten years ago. (hex 300-322)
• $200,000 - Viscountess Garbiñe Rimireggio-Apricenza od-Tames, the Pontifica of Cats rule the city-state of Tahmes (hex 165-563)
• $250,000 - Armiger: The Flawless Lawgiver (hex 35-288)
• $300,000 - Urghtarn the Taker Who Does Not Ask, 41st Grand Yarl Barbarossa, (hex 333-373)
• $75,000 - Professor Emeritus Multiplicar duBoig (hex 166-569) 
• $200,000 - She of Eldritch Sighs, ruler of Ix-Balaqta (hex 41-281) 
• $250,000 - The Joyless Sadist of Yerrp, her Divine excellency Jennif Fattiyarkeh, the administrator of Concordia. Found in (hex 334-371)
• The Captain will offer between $50,000-100,000 for the live capture of any other important Antarctic leaders the party can name.

• Oiligan dollars can be used to buy items from Oiliga. Ordered items would be delivered to the island by the next cargo helicopter. For pricing $10 is equal to 1GP. 

### 29-8 Dumped Coffins

24 black plastic coffins float in the surf. Each contains a dead native of hex 28-8.

### 26-12 Crashed Helicopter

The water is coated with oil. A ruined, rusting Oiligan cargo helicopter lays just above the waves, wrecked on a bleached coral reef. It seeps black oil and fumes rise from it despite obviously having crashed several years ago. If searched it holds 8d100 still edible MREs.   

### 28-10 The Dolphin Hunt

A flotilla of 12 canoes (each made from a hollowed out prototaxite) carries 36 harpoon and net wielding fishermen (natives of hex 28.8). They patiently hunt a school of dolphins. If the party appear friendly they will beg for aid and explain the details of their home and the predations of the Oiligan Empire on their people. (see region ‘The Occupied Isle’). 

### 27-8 Dead Dolphins…

This patch of ocean is slick black with oil and littered with floating dead dolphins. A megalodon (stats as 15HD shark with 1d20 damage bite) has been driven mad by the oil and attacks any within the hex. 

## The Isle of 100,000 Doors

### 79-0 - The Isle of 100,000 Doors

From the horizon this isle appears as a grey, mountainous, scaled cone. On closer examination, the windswept island is made of concrete and the ‘scales’ that coat it are oval-shaped doors of weathered aluminium. Each door is labeled with two numbers separated with a hyphen. At the pinnacle of the island, beneath the black and white 13 striped flag of the Oiligan Empire, is a door numbered 222~318. The numbers then spiral around the isle until reaching door 0~0, which is lapped by the tide. Each numbered door corresponds to an Antarctic hex and when opened, leads to an unobserved location in that hex. The doors are one-way only. 

Door 79-0 opens to itself and functions not unlike a mirror, with people and objects attempting to pass through it colliding with themselves. 

The Actinic Sorrow of Dawnless Days, a transparent, sleep-walking dragon circumambulates the Isle ready to remorselessly feast on any who wake her (stats as a 20HD Dragon, Transparent). She wakes on noises louder than a raised voice and is drawn incrementally closer by any sound louder than a heavy footstep. 

### 78-0 Oiligan Spy Raft

A small floating raft-base made of lashed-together plastic oil drums and corrugated steel, buoys in a shimmering field of oil-filmed ocean. 6 grey-pink and pine-green camouflage patterned canoes are tied to the base’s edge and similarly camouflaged figures can be seen moving between the raft's crude corrugated metal structures.

Aboard are 12 Oiligan espionage-troopers (stats as Oiligan Soldier's but with 16 Charisma and integrally suppressed battle rifles - the quietened fire of which does not wake The Actinic Sorrow of Dawnless Days, the transparent dragon) and 24 regular Oiligan soldiers. The soldiers, led by the optimistic Captain Maximum, are guarding the island and assessing its value as a staging ground for the invasion of Antarctica (see War Plan Jale as explained in ‘The Occupied Isle’ and hex 28-8). If they spot anyone on the Isle they will canoe across to capture, interrogate and perhaps press-gang them into imperial service.

Despite their cheery leader, the soldiers are sea-soaked, miserable and in need of rations and a proper rest. Recently two soldiers were washed overboard and carried away far to the south-east (hexes 80-3 and 85-14). Before that about half of the soldiers deserted through one of the magic doors (to hex 286-383). 

The raft base also contains: 

• A high-powered radio

• A powerful telescope

• A pinball machine

• A store of 230 high-fructose MREs

### 80-3 Adrift Oiligan

An Oiligan soldier named Sergeant Deals clings to a plastic barrel. He was washed away from his spy raft at hex 78-0. He promises “many dollars” if they return him there.

### 85-14 Oiligan Fishin’

Private Premium, a solitary and semi-nude Oiligan soldier stands waist deep in the tide attempting to shoot fish with her battle-rifle. She was washed away from her spy raft at hex 78-0. All she has to say is that she “I’m a might hungry” and “Moloch saves”.

### 286-383 Deserter Sportsball

24 Oiligan soldiers play Sportsball in three teams of 8. They run round a circular, ersatz pitch jostling over a squishy triangular prism; the eponymous sportsball. Their rifles are laid on the earth beside some wooly rhinoceros hide tents and chunky meat strips curing over smoky, lichen fires.

The soldiers deserted from their army via a magic door in hex 00-79. They seem content to be out of the military system but hunger for food beyond wooly rhino flesh. They barely explored beyond this hex but know of the Wooly Rhino Lair in hex 287-380. The garrulous Private Ayatollah is their spokesperson.

Soldier of Tomorrow, 1959

  

The Oiligan Empire

Regions active: The Occupied Isle, The Isle of 100,000 Doors, North America and elsewhere across the globe. 

Description: Culturally deranged, the Oiligan Empire spreads its greedy, polluting influence across the globe like a deadly petroleum spill. Desiring resources to power its industrial and territorial growth, Oiliga has set a small portion of its cyclopean gaze on Antarctica. For now, small outposts of soldiers, rifle-wielding masked goons, lurk and surveil the continent. 

• Current fashion trends dictate most Oiligan men sport a handlebar moustache and women, mullets. 

• Their national game is named Sportsball (despite being played with a squishy triangular prism). 

• Their flag consists of thirteen horizontal black and white stripes.

• Their ‘food’ is terrible.

Ruler & Leaders: The Plutarco. Beneath him skitters a sprawling bureaucracy of generals, senators, intelligence agencies and corporate interests who constantly feud, scheme and, on occasion, fight for influence. In the Antarctica theatre of operations, the highest ranking officer is Major Algonqwa Stern (hex 28-8).

Size: The Oiligans control large swathes of the North American continent, exert influence over neighbouring polities and across the globe.

Resources: While only a small force is stationed in Antarctica, the Oiligans possess an army of over 2 million personnel complete with battleships, helicopters and armoured fighting vehicles. They have very little magical ability or knowledge after at least twelve great historic witch-hunts. The empire is technologically advanced and possesses the combustion engine, aircraft, radio and crude computer systems along with advanced knowledge of chemistry. 

Attitude toward adventurers: Those serious members of the Oiligan leadership see adventurers as useful assets, to be handled and rewarded with technology, weapons and huge amounts of dollars in exchange for deniable operations across the continent. Conversely, the average Oiligan grunt is an ignorant and chauvinistic fellow and knows little of the wider world. They are as likely to party with the player characters as bully or shoot them.

Ethos/philosophy/faith: Oiligian ideology is that of a Victorian robber baron blended with 1980s consumerism and corporate worship. Despite this they consider themselves an anti-imperial empire. They worship Moloch, a golden, vulture-headed god with the body of an upright steam-engine. They have a reverential fear of Grey Aliens.

Goals & quests: In Antarctica, the Oiligans prize the continent's mineral wealth and natural resources. The empire’s proposed invasion of Antarctica is codenamed War Plan Jale. Ultimately the Empire seeks global hegemony. 

Common names: 

d20 Oiligan Names:

1. Haudeno

2. Moloch

3. Sam

4. Moab

5. Porfirio

6. Liberty

7. Axle

8. Hulk

9. Dollar

10. Buzzsaw

11. Native

12. J.P

13. Humpday

14. Dividend

15. Powhatten 

16. Dude

17. Big 

18. Boss

19. Tonnage

20. Logo

Relations with other factions: Generally dismissive of all Antarctican factions and cultures, the Empire shows a cultural affinity for the Moebians. They strongly dislike the Geometer Lords - a rival international power and look down on the empire of the Baroleshians. 

My own mark I illustration of an Oiligan soldier.

Oiligan Soldier:

HD: 2+2

AC: 8 (flak jacket), 6 vs ranged

MV: as a soldier moving tactically

Attacks: as battle rifle (see below) or fighting knife d4

Special: an Oiligan Soldier’s head-to-toe camouflage fatigues (grey-pink with pine green stripes) grant them a +1 to surprise the PCs in combat. 

Description: 

The faceless soldiers of Oiliga are uniformed in full-body camouflage fatigues and move with a rigid, highly trained precision, creeping through cover with their battle rifles at the ready. While uncanny, beneath their pink and green striped camouflage masks, bandoliers and bullet proof vests they are regular humans (usually sporting handlebar moustaches). Likewise, their precise training quickly breaks down when bored or annoyed. When on a task they remain tactical and robotic, when at ease they are prone to goofing off, sometimes in dangerous or provocative ways. They are not native to Antarctica and speak with strong accents. 

In combat, the trained Oiligan soldiers will fire and load single shots per round. If angered they fire off all four shots. When looted, their leather bandolier contains d20 bullets and $1000 Oiligan dollars. Their preferred battlecries are ‘For Us! Moloch and the Oiligan way!’ or ‘Remember the Omega!’.

All Oiligans have a reverential fear of Grey Aliens and suffer -2 to attack rolls against them as well as to morale rolls when in the presence of a Grey. 

See region ‘The Occupied Isle’ and the Oiligan Empire faction overview for more information.

Oiligan Battle Rifle:

This stubby, plasticised rifle deals 1d10 damage and ignores AC for the purpose of ranged attacks. It has a capacity of 4 rounds. Multiple additional shots can be fired in a single attack for +1 damage each. Its flatnosed bullets are inaccurate rendering the rifle's maximum range equal to that of a longbow. 

Ritualised Spellcasting, Meta-Material Components and Performative Witchcraft

Put the Meta in Metamagic. Make spells feel uncanny and your players embarrassed. Material components, rituals, somatic elements: what if they were META? Extradiegetic? The in-game spells of magic-users can be boosted by performing ritual out-of-character actions. Once the out-of-character ritual has been performed the spell functions as written in-game, but with a powerful twist. Here are examples for the first level OSE spells. 

1st Level

Charm Person

Give everyone at the table a piece of chocolate///the Charm spell can affect undead

Detect Magic

Intuitively, draw a sigil on a small piece of paper and eat it///Detect Magic functions via sight as normal but also Taste. While the sight detection ends after 2 turns, taste lasts for 2 hours. Taste magical things to comprehend their enchantments.

Floating Disc

Press yourself against the ground, eyes closed and mute for 66 seconds///the disc functions and moves as normal but can be commanded anywhere with the caster's line of sight.

Hold Portal

Hold a T-pose for 1 minute///for the duration of the spell the door cannot be opened by any means.

Light

Quickly waft a lit match into your open mouth///Light radius extends to 120 feet or the target is blinded for hours rather than turns.

Darkness

Snuff out a candle with a pinch///Darkness radius extends to 120 feet or the target is blinded for hours rather than turns.

Magic Missile

Intuitively, draw 4, 6, 8, 10 or 12 arcane sigils on your skin using a permanent pen///in addition to your usual magic missiles, gain another magic missile that deals damage with a die equal to the number of sigils you drew. 4 sigils for d4, 6 sigils for d6 and so on.

Protection from Evil

Circle an egg around your head three times and then quickly dispose of it///The spell's bonus to Saving Throws and penalties for attacking creatures are equal to the caster's level.

Read Languages

Without stopping or speaking, furiously fill an entire side of paper with asemically written glossolaliac language///the first language you read you can speak for the remainder of the day.

Read Magic

Gouge out one of your own eyes and throw it into a natural body of water or well///Read Magic lasts permanently and functions across all future rpg characters in any system indefinitely.

Shield

Have a fellow player spit at your upraised, outward facing palm///Caster’s AC is improved: Against missile attacks: AC -2 [21] and Against other attacks: AC 0 [19].

Sleep

Swallow any type of pill///this Sleep spell lasts for 4d4 days against a single creature who is rendered invulnerable and immovable for the duration of their sleep. It can affect any type of creature.

Ventriloquism

Genuinely make a fellow player turn to look at something that isn’t there///any sound that can be bodily produced: footsteps, the rasp of your drawn sword, your heartbeat, flatulence, etc can be thrown/ventriloquised.

If while performing any of these magical acts, the player wishes to shout or chant the name of the spell their character is casting - praise and reward them. 

Have a few more!

2nd level

ESP

Silently, hold eye contact with the DM or another player for 13 seconds///the caster may instantly detect the thoughts of an individual creature without delay.

Web

Singe or burn a piece of cobweb///your character’s web now covers an area of 100 foot cubed.

3rd level

Fire Ball

Burn a piece of your character sheet///the fireball’s radius is 80 feet.

6th level

Death Spell

Kill a living thing///the Death Spell affects 8d8 HD worth of creatures.

Go suck it B.A.D.D!

Isle of the Scorpions

 

Pulmonoscorpius Paleoart by Vitor Silva

Three Hexes you could insert into your campaign - one island, one coastal, one oceanic. These hexes also represent my infinitesimally small part of Idraluna Archive's magnificent Antarctic Adventure Jam which is nearing the end of its first submission window. The Jam is a truly prodigious beast of a project and while far from complete, it is packed with fabulous content. Check it out here, pan around and click on icon'd hexes, you'll definitely fun something good.

And yeah, these hexes are just Beowulf but a bit weird.

## The Isle of the Scorpions

This red-wood forested, orchid-strewn isle is home to a race of sentient scorpions (stats as ‘Scorpion, Giant’ but Lawfully aligned and with human equivalent intelligence). They live in scattered nuclear families, lairing across the island in wasp-nest like papery ‘tree-houses’. The scorpions keep vole-like rodents as semi-domesticated livestock and hunt gulls and rays on the coasts with their stingers. Through great effort these scorpions can contort their mandibles to speak in strained two word sentences. They don’t know where they came from - their myths say they grew from seeds. The scorpions are ruled by an elected sage-monarch named ‘Sssn-snk’. The Scorpions are aware of people, though the isle rarely has visitors. Recently this otherwise idyllic isle has come under the predation of a most despicable monster - Muhwtor of the Mesopelagic.

Muhwtor of the Mesopelagic, a giant mutant Deep One has taken up residence off of the coast and once a month lumbers onto the island to eat 2d12 scorpions. He is immune to their venom and his scaly hide is filled, punctured and pincushioned with still pumping scorpion stingers. His bulging saucer-plate fish eyes are shot not with blood, but venom. Muhwtor’s stats are as a giant-sized, 9 HD, poison-immune Deep One, but when struck in melee a gout of scorpion venom sprays onto whomever dealt the wound.

1d6 Encounters:
1. A scorpion family (mother, father and 1d4 ½ HD scorpion children) harvesting mushrooms, stump-moss and orchids, they are chatting and joking with each other in their clicking scorpion language. 
2. 1d4 giant scorpions snap their pincers from the entrance to their tree home.
3. 2d6 scorpions hunting gulls/rays on the coast or voles in the forest.
4. Sssn-snk the scorpion sage-king (max HP 'Scorpion, Giant' with 18 Intelligence) and 3d6 decrepit scorpion elders scuttle slowly about in a circle, clicking and gesticulating wildly with their claws and stingers. They are discussing what to do about Muhwtor. The others say they will vote for a new king.

5. 1d8 Deep Ones walk back to the shore with young, alive giant scorpion slung by the tail over one of their shoulders. 
6. A pile of half-eaten scorpions, some are missing their stingers. One clings to life, gurgling "Muhwtor" before dying. 

### 161-86 Isle of the Scorpions
A pleasant and fragrant isle of redwoods and vibrant flowers - populated by 778 intelligent, giant scorpions (213 males, 285 females, 380 scorplings). If the players seem hospitable, the scorpions will entreat with them to help drive off Muhwtor offering them an unlimited and lifetime supply of their potent venom, the right to stay on the isle as honorary scorpions and as many scorpion brides as they desire.

### 161-87 Muhwtor’s Lair
Muhwtor of the Mesopelagic and 12 Deep One toadies lurk beneath the balmy coastal waters in the wrecked hull of an ancient submersible. The sea above is littered with chewed up scorpions. At low tide (around mid day) the top of the submersible can be seen.

Treasures found within the rusted submersible:

•  1 rusted torpedo (strike hard to detonate for 2d20 damage in a 50ft radius)
• *Voidlight* a +2 rapier, +4 vs extraplanar creatures. If the wielder dies their skeleton turns to aluminium.
• A pirate skeleton that has turned to aluminium (worth 3000 GP)
• 10 large leaden barrels. Each contains gold dust worth 10,000 GP.
• A seal-skin treasure map pointing to Hex no. 79-00 with the notations ‘all the world behind 100,000 doors’ and ‘beware the eater of men’
• A green swipe pass (used to launch a nuclear warhead in Hex no. 344-380)

### 163-88 Muhwtor’s Mother

The sulphur-smelling surface of this oceanic hex bubbles and roils. Muhwtor's Mother, a tentacular ur-beast slumbers in the inky depths of the sea beside a fiercely fuming volcanic vent. She nestles a colossal man-sized pearl (worth 240,000 GP). Her stats are as four conjoined Octopi, Giant. She will wreak a most horrible revenge on those that slay or humiliate her son. She'll travel unerringly and tirelessly towards the party at a rate of 2 hexes per day.

BONUS HEX:

### 165-82 The Boat-Scorpions 

24 Scorpion refugees lay limply strewn across 4 crude rafts, the survivors of a bigger 'fleet'. They are/were fleeing from their island home of Hex no. 161-86 but ran out of provisions after becoming stuck in becalmed weather. The scorpions will try as much as they can to warn the PCs of the 5d100 hammerhead sharks that swarm beneath their rafts. 

d30 Months of Weird Weather

 

by Odd Nerdrum

d30 Weirder Weather-Months:

This is part two of my weather trilogy. In Part One I made up a yearly calendar of weather with each month being composed of a single unchanging type of weather. I explain my reasoning for this in the post. Each weather type had some simple, yet concrete and impactful, mechanical effects - like campaign level status effects. Check it out here. This Weather-Calendar kept it quite straight - a fairly generic seasonal year with a few flourishes but you (🫵) could be much more creative. You've read the title, we're doing weird weather today. I owe thanks to Mikesmix of Sheep and Sorcery, Whisper of Glass Ziggurat and maxcan7 of Weird and Wonderful Worlds for their creative contributions to this list. 

While it is of my opinion that one should use ‘weirdness’ carefully, one can’t always be mundane. THAT’S BORING! Here are d30 other monthly options, they range from reasonable to gonzo. I tried to consider gameplay first, I broke some of the rules I proposed in part one but if you have ideas for better implementation, please suggest! I think weather 11 is my favourite but there are plenty of mechanics in here you can mine and use for other things.

d30 Weird Months of Weather

1. Pollen: The realm is wreathed in a ruffle-petalled raiment of gaudy, blooming flowers. The air is clouded with yellow fragrant spores that settle and form drifts and banks in the spring grass. On character creation roll a d10, on a 1 your character has hayfever and suffers a -1 to all rolls during this sneezesome month, otherwise you are ok. Plant creatures always have maximum HP.

2. Battle: The seasonal struggle between Law and Chaos. The night sky scintillates with the sparks of cosmic battle, the earth rattles and multitudinous rainbows jaggedly streak the sky fading to black and white and back to colour again. All magic cast by Chaotic beings is treated as if cast 1 level higher but Lawful entities’ saves vs all magical phenomena are at +2.

3. The Big Bustard Hunt: Around this time of year, strong and warm westerly squalls blow over desert dust and huge flocks of plump and juicy bustards. While fewer of these dumb, delicious birds get blown over each year, I wouldn't worry about it, get hunting! - the most common encounter on your encounter table is replaced by small flocks of 2d12 Bustards. By the way, each bustard is worth a ludicrous amount of XP.

4. The Haze: Velvety purple vapours cloud the skies and valleys with their cloying, narcotic scent, the grass turns plump, succulent and soft - everyone is high for the whole month as if on a random drug. You can ‘reroll’ your drug by immersing yourself in cold water. Upon resurfacing a new drug is rolled for. This ‘reroll’ can only be done once per day. 

5. Steroid Rain: It rains steroids - everyone is considered to have a Strength score of 18 for the month. Neutral results on reaction rolls (6-8) have a grumpy, macho tone. These heavenly steroids are not potable. 

6. Feeding Season: This annual pseudo-weather event occurs when the man-eating Yateveo plants release their prey hormone - all mammals are considered to have a Wisdom score of 3 for the month and automatically fail saves Vs Paralysis.

7. Portalmas: The air tastes metallic, hairs stand on end. The landscape is littered with vantablack portals - wherever one is, there is a 5-6 chance that one of these portals is within the immediate vicinity. If entered teleport to a random campaign hex. Once entered both ends of the portal collapse within 10 minutes. Criminals love this season.

8. Vampiric Fog: A thin terracotta coloured mist thirsts for blood - damage rolls of 1 deal max die-size damage instead (ie 6 for a d6 weapon) as the drawn blood spins out into the hungry, sucking fog + Death and Dismemberment rolls are one deviation worse. 

9. The Boiling: All unadulterated water boils - rivers, lakes, oceans, the water in your canteen. The month prior all non-immune water-life, sensing the approaching danger fled. The air is filled with steam. Folk prize milk, beer and other such drinks which are oddly unaffected. The effects - splashed boiling water does 1 point of damage, submersion = 1d6 damage per round. Torrid, you must consume one inventory slot worth of some kind of drink to benefit from any kind of healing, magical or otherwise. The steam purifies, +2 saves vs disease. 

10. Drutefall: The long dormant drute plant's fruit pods burst forth from the soil and, geyser-like, expel their stinking gases and saprogenic fruit. The land is carpeted with foul, purple sweating puck-shaped fruit and thick green clouds vein the sky. The effects: the drute’s green gasses rapidly rot all other food stuffs (and corpses) to mush (ten minutes for corpse mushification, regular food stuffs - almost instantly). Only the drute (and canned goods, quickly gulped down) can be eaten. While omni-abundant, drute has no nutritional value and the body can only extract so much calorific value from it. Drute heals only 0-1 HP regardless of how much is eaten during the day. Additionally, all one can smell is the stench of Drute, the DM cannot describe any other smell. Drute tastes like hog-fat fried rubber tires with a citrus twist.

11. The Aggressively Pacifistic Murmuration of Paradoxical Utungo: For the month, the sky is clouded with one vast murmuration of philosophical finches. They’re engaging in their seasonal stratospheric debate. They argue in the language of birds about all things but there is one belief they all agree on… their beady little eyes and black-gold plumage conceal a soul violently dedicated to pacifism. Whenever combat takes place the murmuration reacts! The murmuration takes part in the combat attacking one participant (per 4 combatants) for d12 damage each round of combat. This swarm attack cannot be blocked meaningfully by an unprepared individual and automatically deals this damage. Likewise, the finch swarm is so vast it cannot be meaningfully damaged or repelled. When combat ends, so do the finch’s attacks. Human disputes are settled via ritualised ‘dueling caves’ where they are safe from the murmuration.

12. The Fizz: The air carbonates, a reverse rain of pinkish bubbles percolate up from the buzzing earth and into the hazy, salmon-coloured sky. Likewise, leaves, dust and detritus are carried, floating up, into the air. The rich recline on marble slabs or are carried in sealed sedans as the bubbles do itch. However, for the month, one can jump twice as far/high and falling damage is halved. The bubbles cannot pass through thick non-porous materials, so this effect does not work inside of most stone-floored buildings, dungeons or stoney caves. If sleeping on or above bare earth, one only gains half the usual healing from sleep. 

13. The Sweating: Slick green beads of moisture bud up on all things. The sky goes blotchy, bruised - all chartreuse and plum-coloured. All creatures are unsteady, sweaty and irritable. Critical failure ranges extend by one, average reaction rolls (6-8) in miserly, disgusted or sick moods. Academics are still unsure as to whether this phenomenon is extracting the green ectoplasm from matter or merely depositing it upon things. 

14. Black Sun, Bright Moon: The Month in which (as legends tell us) Lord Sun and Lady Moon agree to swap roles, swap clothes, swap souls but retain their minions. The Sun turns black and plunges the land into a shivering, quivering pseudo-night and the Moon radiates a brilliant white light that bathes the world in a sterile glow. Day and Night have swapped illumination! Day/Night encounters remain the same but suffer -2 to their encounter roles as they resent the unnatural light. Dreams now occur during waking hours so the DM is free to add individualised hallucinations when and wherever they see fit.

15. Month of the Living Dead: A silvery mist descents upon the land and curls, coiling tendril-wise along the ground (ranged attacks cannot be made beyond 60ft). The sun turns dim and the moon glows a blood red. The tree's bare black branches knot themselves and no wild game can be hunted, for it has all fled the unnatural, necrotic stillness of the air. Any slain creature rises from the dead as a zombie after 1 round unless its brain is destroyed. 

16. Acid Rain!: Acid rain. You know what it is. But how does one protect against it? Alkaline grease pots! They cost 1 gp and grease 1 item. Pots can be stacked 10 to an inventory slot. Greased items are protected for one entire journey through the acid rain (only). Any unprotected items receive the ‘acid-etched’ descriptor (or just an X on your character sheet), if any ‘acid-etched’ items are damaged again by the acid rain they become ‘corroded’ (or XX), if a ‘corroded’ weapon is unprotected/ungreased in the acid rain it is destroyed. ‘Acid-etched’ items can be repaired, ‘corroded’ weapons cannot. If a ‘corroded’ weapon receives a notch it is instantly destroyed. Some cheapskate players will try to hide things in greased bags, sure, just don’t take their contents out in the rain.  

17. Radioactive Death Cloud: The southern wind blows down nuclear fallout from the ruined and wasted northern hemisphere around this time of year - big comically green clouds of the stuff with its geiger-counteresque clicking - you’d better put your gasmask on. At character creation, roll your character’s maximum age, perhaps 50+2d20 years. Everytime a player whose character does not have a gasmask (with filter) rolls a dice, their character loses 1 year off their maximum lifespan. Filters cost 1 GP, take up one inventory slot and last one day once removed from their protective seal. Filters are destroyed by water, falling damage and damage rolls of 1. Characters die should their current age exceed their maximum age. During this month, each Death and Dismemberment roll is supplemented by an additional roll on your mutation table. An expensive RadAway equivalent might be able to restore lost lifespan. 

18. The Death-Defying Breath of the Green G-d: The sky turns a clear and vivid cyan. The Green G-d exhales, its breath - a hot, dewy murmuring wind that flows through all living things, filling them to the brim with vitality and health. New growth whips and tangles, beasts are born big and bellowing. Effects: saves vs death and dismemberment are one deviation better, sleep heals double the usual amount, forest hexes and similar are treated as very difficult terrain as they swell densely with thorns, tangled branches and berried thickets. Monsters have as a minimum their average HD’s worth of HP.

19. The Not At All Horrifying and Actually Quite Delicious Gravy Drizzle: The sky turns the deepest brown (vantabrown), black shapes dart between the cloudbound rivulets of ‘gravy’. A mysterious beefy mist buffets the landscape and those who dare walk in its salty, fatty slickness. It’s warm. The plant world dislikes this moisture and most vegetation shrivels considerably. Water tastes bad. Animalia loves it as the meaty dew is very nutritious. Food stuffs coated in the brown translucent spray heal an extra +2 HP. Predators, satiated, have +2 to their reaction rolls - they’re not hungry. However, if the PCs are coated with gravy, bite attacks performed against them deal damage equal to one die size higher than normal (as the characters have become tastier). 

20. The Greyful Hum of Taos: In this dry month of winter, having burrowed up from their grey trackless dunes on the far side of the earth, come the Achromicidae - a cacophonous swirl of swarming locust-like insects, vast as to dim the sky. It is not crops the swarms will devour but colour itself. For this month the DM cannot describe colour at all beyond black, white and shades of grey. Additionally, the hum-chittering of the swarm is almost unbearable, so overpowering in fact that the DM cannot describe the sound of things beyond sight of the party. Elves are not so affected by these effects they can still see colour, albeit somewhat desaturated and noises, while audible are muffled and indistinct. Characters cannot gain the full benefits of sleep without earplugs. 

Extra Weird Weather Submissions:

Here are submissions from my creative friends, Mikesmix of Sheep and Sorcery (entries 21-26), Whisper of Glass Ziggurat (entries 27-28) and maxcan7 of Weird and Wonderful Worlds (entries 29-30). The bracketed mechanics are of my own devisal.

21. Anti-Rain: Moisture is drawn out of living things and back into the sky.  (Drink fluids to heal as with Scorch in part 1)

22. Oobleck: Black goop. Drowns everything in sticky inedible goop. A curse left behind by a king who refused to accept the world on its own terms. (Increase a Saving Throw of your choice by 1 for each hour spent in the Oobleck. Should a saving throw reach 20 you start to drown. It takes 1 hour of cleaning to recover 2 points of your Saving Throws. High is bad for Saving Throws remember)

23. Chaos Storm: Magic is broken. The world is angry. It rages for the injury done to it by reckless mages who bent the world until it broke. Now magic pure, chaotic and furious rages over the surface. It could do anything to you, anything bad that is. (All characters roll a random curse from your curse table. They are afflicted by this curse for the day. A new curse rolled the following dawn. Likewise, random encounters are also burdened with a random curse. One can purchase lucky talismans that when crushed allow the one doing the crushing to 'reroll' their curse)

24. Fog of War: With the fog comes the ghosts of those who died in an ancient war. They continue to fight their war again anywhere the fog appears. (Whenever combat occurs either side is aided by 1d6 1HD semi-spectral soldiers (or a detachment in ItO style games). Ranged combat has a maximum of 30ft. The chance of getting lost increases by 1 deviation)

25. Vengeful Cloud: You offended this cloud somehow and now it's following you and hitting you with the worst kind of storms it can. (This sentient, rancorous cloud only targets players that perform or act in certain predetermined behaviours that the cloud dislikes such as impoliteness/impiety/bad taste etc. Targeted characters are affected as in Rain in part one. Whenever a player exhibits a certain disliked trait, displeased thunder is heard. They can seek reprieve from the storm by apologising to the cloud. If they apologize for the wrong behaviour they are struck by lightning for 2d12 damage. The cloud's whims change per week)

26. Cloud Giant War: Enormous weapons and gore come crashing down from overhead as cloud giants duke it out. (Every turn of combat drop a number of dice of two types/colours onto the battle map equal to the number of players. The first type of die represents giant's blood, should the dice land on a player/NPC token they must pass a save Vs Death or be knocked prone. If the other die type lands on a player/NPC they are squashed by a shard of the giant's weapon/armour and must save Vs Paralysis or suffer 1d6 damage. Not sure about this one, any other suggestions?)

27. Hypergravity: Mother Earth becomes envious. For the duration of the month, fall damage is increased and nothing can lift itself from the ground.

28. Radio: Metal objects act as receivers for extraterrestrial pop songs, ads, and talk shows. Stealth is impossible if you have any metal on your person, but once per rest you can learn the answer to one question about 1d6: 1) local politics 2) automobile maintenance 3) insurance products 4) romance 5) medication side effects 6) Taylor Swift. (or any 6 topics of your choosing. Obviously)

29. Humboldt Fog: When Pan and his orgiastic party ascend Cypress Grove, their orgone energy summons the blue ribbon bridge to the moon. The milk of their orgy floods the moon and ferments, then melts like fondue back down to the world. The gamey goat cheese flows with abundance and many cultures engage in festivities around the vent akin to a debauched Christmas. (Characters move and hex-crawl at half speed as they wade through the celestial cheese-stuff. Fall prone and become trapped until a save Vs Paralysis is passed. Engaging in hedonistic activities heals a minimum of 1d6 HP. Cheese rations are infinitely available but appear disgusting once the month is over)

30. Gray Goo Greenhouse: Gray goo particles permeate the sky, augmenting and entrapping echoes of ideas that expand like heat through glass. Reality comes apart like a frog boiled in increasingly warming water. Those trapped within a Gray Goo Greenhouse rarely realize what's happening to them. The goo like microplastics, slowly congealing within their brains and minds. (All players, NPC's, monsters, random encounters, items, all inanimate objects infact and some concepts - all roll a random insanity for the month. That or all your players must smoke/inject a nasty and synthetic drug of your choice for sessions that take place during this weird weather month)

Try playing in a game with this as the calendar!

Odd Nerdrum

Another Rambling Postscript:

Again, as I rambled about in Part 1, the benefit of the month-long weather format over the random roll is that it gives players time to internalize the weirdness of the world rather than being constantly shaken about by dozens of short, weird phenomena (that even the world itself barely has time to react to). If that kind of play persists, the players will eventually become inured to the world’s fantasy and any future high strangeness might lose its charm.

Stay tuned for Part Three, Weather Festivals!