PITY THE CAVEMEN - an OD&D Horror Dungeon

By Frank Frazetta

A miserable dungeon of pulp savagery and oozing body-horror. 

• Map, Monsters, gods, NPCs, Magic Items, 28 total rooms/subrooms - 5 pages. Free.

Seriously though, this took forever to write and was at times, a massive pain. 

The map was generated via Dave's Mapper (my favourite online map generator) and modified by myself. 

NOM-DE-GROTTE ~ d200 Caveman Names

Kennis & Kennis, MADRID SCIENTIFIC FILM

Cavemen have formal names (those with stretched vowels) and informal (without stretched vowels). Addressing a caveman with their full name may net the players a +1 to their reaction roll. Inspired by Idraluna Archive's OD&D Encounter SOPs. Don't dismiss the names as nonsense immediately, thought went into every one and are presented in the order I thought of them. 

The caveperson naming convention emerged on its own in my prior works - caveman-centric adventure sites. For previously named caveperson NPCs, see Lair of the Cavemen aka Thick Thews, Brutish Brows and Heaving Bosoms, the adventure site collection Six Savage Lairs and (the now unreleased) Pity the Cavemen:

• Raugwalla ♂️
• Grooon ♂️
• Ooolpulgg ♂️ (what a feminine name 💃)
• Eewallaaa ♀️
• Bruugg ♂️
• Big Boruguluu ♂️
• The Oooogun ♂️
• Muurrtunga ♂️
• Lorrgga ♂️
• Eeexpinik ♀️

Temple of the Bear, by Zdeněk Burian

Cavepeople Automatic Name Roller 

Thanks to Paper Elemental for the generator. 

Portrait of the author, by Zdeněk Burian

The Lists:
Cave-Masculine:
1. Duuurguunna
2. Jughmaaaa
3. Wanuuurgaa
4. Anuuurwal
5. Raaanaaa
6. Luuurg
7. Guuurgamaa
8. Uraaanlik
9. Grooogaa
10. Raspaaapaa
11. Naguuulaa
12. Shuhooog
13. Yuuugeenba
14. Krollgg
15. Quwooodaa
16. Wroguuulaa
17. Shobeeegzob
18. Akaaachagaa
19. Muuurzmaa
20. Crooovqwa
21. Ergooomaa
22. Druuuussssaa
23. Udaaaarshub
24. Hwaaaht
25. Oooooooooooo
26. Aaaaaaaaaaaaa
27. Simguuulaa
28. Lokkk
29. Baaatishmaa
30. Owowoon
31. Wahgaawaa
32. Gahaanaaag
33. Murrrkurrrk
34. Blurrrcaa
35. Hooltaalmaa
36. Jaaajaaanak
37. Mroonnwipp
38. Caaawuraa
39. Yuuunk
40. Craavaaanaa
41. Maaamootaa
42. Vaaangovaa
43. Pongopohaa
44. Zojnaaak
45. Orgooonaa
46. Burrrraaaan
47. Yorrrpaapruh
48. Haaapaaadraa
49. Ohwaaawo
50. Ksnaaacwaa
51. Ooowowgaa
52. Hoqaaw
53. Urggurrrgg
54. Oowhoop
55. Agannneeyarrrp
56. Worrrrtuuug
57. Qannnnnn
58. Kolpapaaan
59. Jhurrrgaaandeh
60. Hooshaamaa
61. Harrrrsuurraaan
62. Draaaahhhh
63. Errrrr
64. Uhhhhgggg
65. Snnnrrrrrt
66. Slrrrrrrrsh
67. Burrrrzaa
68. Hurrhurrhurr
69. Thoggggogg
70. Drrrrrr
71. Gerggggugg
72. Wwwwwowchaa
73. Ooogaahh
74. Boogaahh
75. Shrrrrrrkkkkaa
76. Chaaaach
77. Vongoooooo
78. Barrrrrbarrrrbah
79. Graggg
80. Llllllg
81. Ummmguh
82. Raaaaaak
83. Ssssmushhhh
84. Brsssskk
85. Fleeebitaa
86. Agurrrmmm
87. Odfurrrrzzz
88. Odcraaaasaa
89. Ilayaaarajaaa
90. Iskaamsssskk
91. Raaagafommm
92. Woookarayjaa
93. Mbaaa
94. Loooosoo
95. Poyyyytaaavarrren
96. Nnrrmmboo
97. Crooofu
98. Gzzzzmaa
99. Ssssuk
100. Brrurrannnndddaa


Cave-Feminine:
1. Eeeenpunwag
2. Aaaawinwuk
3. Oooolanag
4. Oooojughjugh
5. Ooookanook
6. Qeeepineg
7. Tseeelikan
8. Leeesipwip
9. Saaawupog
10. Duuumama
11. Oooozagdah
12. Oooopremib
13. Qeeesineeg
14. Ceeegineek
15. Aaaaxineep
16. Ieeenogog
17. Aeeestonot
18. Ooaaaxefu
19. Ooofofof
20. Aaakalak
21. Eeeekikik
22. Ofoooosecnag
23. Aaaayapeq
24. Aaaamalaig
25. Vehhhhulu
26. Goolaaaabaanig
27. Izaaaafazhin
28. Edreeegagag
29. Sssssehabag
30. Imaaaawenwen
31. Aaaajaajan
32. Aaaathangaachee
33. Ihaaagahoh
34. Athaaanag
35. Araaaagarej
36. Uzuuuulanam
37. Oooosofig
38. Woomaaanaag
39. Olooooomugug
40. Ecaaaahicah
41. Uhcaaamokop
42. Udoooomazaz
43. Ysssssswihog
44. Xeeeemidid
45. Xaaaazakop
46. Ezoooosusog
47. Uxaaaaaxaman
48. Ozuuuudugit
49. Ysaaaagrag
50. Eeeechaneek
51. Weeeezanope
52. Aaaaapalas
53. Oooopowalas
54. Ashaaaaaadeyet
55. Aaaaababab
56. Ogoooogoyog
57. Ebooooshimak
58. Voooolemish
59. Odooomivmuk
60. Ezeeeeegushek
61. Zzzzzzzbogig
62. Uzzzzzzanolok
63. Ohooo-ohooo
64. Omooookic
65. Ooooloogaloog
66. Igaaaajidec
67. Ubaaaashardoc
68. Okoooolanoom
69. Loooocatwees
70. Efeeescanik
71. Uhhhhgyug
72. Ummmmmeen
73. Ovooomulnam
74. Izzzzzlopig
75. Edeeeelumug
76. Oodaaaanuguk
77. Yoooodinid
78. Yeeegahyuk
79. Yaaaakwaneek
80. Neeelurrrmunk
81. Aleeeevogog
82. Olooomarag
83. Eeecayyyylik
84. Uhhhhuwakwak
85. Errrrluvluv
86. Arrrreeesilag
87. Aaaashoogik
88. Oooomoovipij
89. Eeevllllimig
90. Ayyyyukog
91. Oyyyhogin
92. Ooooshabosh
93. Eeekiwip
94. Ooozumzum
95. Aaazagzig
96. Eeezoonimp
97. Aaavaaliren
98. Urrrrrkuhrem
99. Ooomurug
100. Oooterag

Source unknown, but isn't it great?

Other posts for your consideration:

• Savage Personality Generation. To give these cavepeople some character.
• The race-as-class Talismanic Caveman.
• The Onomasticon Quernorum
• Fantasy Names from Scrabble and Other Word Games
• Name Generator: Morpheme+Word+Epithet
• The adventure locations listed at the start of the post.

The Talismanic Caveman, Fetishist or Mountain Man* - an OSR class

The Bad Durrenberg Shaman

HD: 1d6
Level as: Magic-User
Save as: Fighter
Weapons: Any
Armour: Shields only, see below
Fights as: No progression, see below. 

You are What You Wear: A Talismanic Caveman may possess a number of Talismans equal to their level. Indeed, this Caveman derives all their power from these eponymous Talismans - trinkets, trophies, armour and apparel carved and shaped from their fallen foes. 

Each Talisman grants a special ability, a passive boon, inspired by the beast that the Talisman is made from. For example; a rhino horn amulet might grant +1d4 damage when charging into melee, an oxhide cloak may grant +2 STR (strong as an ox), a dragon scale headdress allows the wearer to take half damage from fire. When ideating abilities - think mythically. There are more example Talismans at the end of this post. 

Each Talisman also grants two of the three following bonuses, the same bonus can be selected twice:

• +1 melee to-hit
• +1 ranged to-hit 
• +1 armour class bonus

- Talismans have no effect when worn by characters of a different class. 

- The oft bloody affair of harvesting and constructing a Talisman happens simultaneously. It takes 10 minutes and requires no specialist tools. 

Sacred Symbols: A Talismanic Caveman cannot carry more Talismans than their current level and swap them out as needs be. That would be sacrilege. A Talisman must be destroyed when it is replaced by another. This happens after the new Talisman has been created and it's powers defined. 

- Likewise, for example, one may not wear two helmets or two masks at the same time.

- A single Talisman takes up one inventory slot.

Kitted Out: The Talismanic Caveman's Talisman AC bonus caps at +6 (not including shields), any AC bonus above this has no effect. 

- Likewise, if a Caveman's to-hit bonus (either melee or ranged) exceeds +10, the excess converts to bonus damage. 

Lucky Charms: A Talismanic Caveman may shatter their Talismans to mitigate 1d4 points of damage of any type. This includes Stat Damage. A shattered Talisman is lost forever. 

Effects that damage armour, such as critical hit results, destroy 1 Talisman of the Caveman's choosing.

- But beware, for without their Talismans, these folk are little more than frightened, superstitious troglodytes.

Beast Lore: The Talismanic Caveman are animal experts but are prone to speak in myth and legend rather than useful, grounded facts. They knows the legends of all the 'natural' beasts and monsters of this land (and can instantly recognise unnatural things such as mutants, aberrations, aliens, Frankensteins and such like). The class can ask a question about any natural beast they can see with a 3-in-6 chance of getting an accurate answer. The DM will roll for this in secret. On sucess they DM will answer tersely yet accurately. If unsuccessful, the DM will give a false, albeit mythical answer. 

For example, a player asks 'what is the weakness of the Flightless Carrion Roc?'. The DM rolls a d6 in secret and is unsuccessful, so replies mythically: "You know the legend of how the Carrion Roc lost his wings, cursed for his arrogance - shame is his greatest weakness!" or "You heard that long ago, Jahooli, King of the Carrion Rocs was once enchanted by the pleasant flute playing of Otongo the Ape!". While false, knowing the nature of this game, sometimes false things can - in play - become true. 

Do I know this beast? Honey, I'm wearing it!: You gain a +1 bonus to your Beast Lore rolls Vs a particular creature for each Talisman of that species you are wearing. If wearing three Talismans of the same type of creature you automatically pass your 'Beast Lore' rolls for that type of beast.

Animal Mimicry: You can imitate the sound of any creature you have a Talisman of. You can only mimic sound and emotion but not true communicable speech. Additionally you can mimic not just a creature's verbalisations but other sounds they make, such as the fluttering of their wings, the sound of their feet padding the floor, the swish of their tail, the spurting of their acidic expulsions, etc.

Spirit Animal Visions: Should the DM feel a Talismanic bonus is too powerful, the spirit of that animal may appear to the caveman in a dream and renegotiate the ability as well as provide them a piece of guidance, advice or information to aid them in their current quest. Conversely, animal spirits may appear to boost the power of their Talismans. 

A level 1 Mountain Man

    

D12 Example Talismans:

1. Monkey Veil: +1 ranged, +1 AC, Fruit eaten heals 1d8 (or one die size higher than consuming a regular ration)
2. Sabretooth Skull Mask: +1 melee, +1 AC, Critical Hit range extends by 1
3. Falcon Wing Crown: +1 melee, +1 ranged, immunity to falling damage
4. Beaver Tooth Charm: +1 melee, +1 AC, Fell even large trees after a single round of chopping
5. Chimp Pelt: +1 melee, +1 AC, +2 to climbing skill
6. Goblin Bone Girdle: +1 melee, +1 AC, +3 to Hide when hiding in caves.
7. Gorgon Hair Skirt: +2 AC, +4 to saves vs paralysis and petrification.
8. Ostrich Feather Gaiters: +1 ranged, +1 AC, wearer can run and jump further and faster than any other party member.
9. Bigfoot Hide Trousers: +1 melee, +1 AC, renders the wearer mostly immune to scrying, appearing as a fuzzy, indiscernible brownness.
10. Hook Horror Vambraces: +2 melee, unarmed attacks do 2d4 damage.
11. Elf Ear Earrings: +2 ranged, detect secret doors as an Elf (or +2 Awareness).
12. Sloth Loin Cloth, +2 AC, the wearer sleeps as peacefully as a sloth and always heals the maximum amount of HP regained by sleeping.

The Talismanic Caveman (or Mountain Man, Fighting-Shaman or Fetishist) is directly inspired by James Young's Inheritor class, which is in turn inspired by Hack and Slash Master's Blue Mage.

*Additional, rejected class names include; the Fighting-Shaman, Scrimshaw Sailor, Mad Taxidermist, Skin-Wearer, Totemic Caveman and Trophy Hunter. I like Mountain Man best. Likewise Talismans can be renamed depending on the class vibe. A Mountain Man may have Trophies, a Fetishist would have Fetishes and so on.

Taken from God of War 'Raider' concept art, pretty good for this class's vibe

Six Savage Lairs

Lo, warriors! In ill caverns, places-weird and ruins-haunted, squat and gibber; lair-lurks, foul fiends, sea-things and stooped troglodytes, all atop spilling heaps of forgotten treasures. So leap, spring cunning and battle-crazed - broadsword humming - indue your thick-thewed frames in blood, gold - glory and legend!

Here are six, free, lair-style dungeons, inspired by the 3lbb and written for an OD&D lair design contest. They are lurid, savage and pulpy. The layout was predetermined quite stringently. Most notably, each lair must fit on a single side of A5. This proved a fun, albeit tricky, constraint. My first attempt; Caveman Lair, 15%, though terse, spilled over this single side limit, - though Diogenes of Dio's Dungeon did ascribe it "vance-quality" (while discussing its disqualification). See:

😏

Remember these are Lairs, different but closely related to 'true' dungeons. While largely occupied by a single 'monster' type, do not assume these are not places of tension and of simmering conflict that your players cannot explore and exploit. Some of the lairs are linked narratively but can be played in any order, making them a good fit for sandbox campaigns or linked one-shots. Each lair should be a good fit for a single session of play. 

Also four of the lairs belong to cavemen 💪

Herein you shall find:

• The Lair of the Cavemen (Oopulg's Tribe), suffering in a sea-cave under the yoke of savage merman conquerors.
• The Lair of the Mermen, a hub of imperial conquest, led by an imperious queen blinded to the traitors in her midst by the loss of her daughter. 
• The Lair of the Brigands who took her, and the foul fate they are suffering at the hand of their disinterested and capricious dark-lord.
• The Lair of the Cavewomen (Lankimbirizin's Tribe), hunted by chaotic humanoids and led by a dying magic-user who seeks to a new chief to lead his tribe to safety. 
• The Lair of the Cavemen (Big Borguluu's Raiders), a vicious band of raiders encamped in a ruined minster that holds its own secrets. 
• The Lair of the Cavemen (Bruug and Eewallaaa's Tribes), two tribes joined by the pairing of the chief and chieftainess suffer clashing cultures and the moral predations of two human missionaries.

Most art by Frank Frazetta with maps by Dyson Logos and Watabou's dungeon generator.

 

CAVEMAN, Lair 15%

Beneath the light of a blood-red star, a loping horde of savage hominids cross a primeval plain - a scantily-clad maiden slung across the sinewy shoulders of their brutish chief...

Captured princesses! Rampaging ape-men! Jewels for the plunder! Here’s a 3LBB-style caveman lair for an OD&D lair design contest. Inspired by the lurid, two-fisted illustrations of Frank Frazetta. I leaned into pulp, into cavesploitation - and shan't apologize for it!

As an OD&D neophyte, I’ve done my best to ape (pun intended) the '70s style, tone, and idiosyncrasies, though some modern sensibilities may have crept in. Hopefully, it still feels right and carries some of those early-days fantasy weirdness. Writing this was enjoyable. The formatting was decided by the contest, the expectation that the entries should be easily inserted into a campaign and the fact this is a lair, rather than a true dungeon really contributed to that. I planned to publish more dungeons this year, this wasn't one of them, so stay tuned!

All art by Frank Frazetta, map by Dyson Logos

EDIT: Here is the updated and non-copyright infringing (basically artfree 😢) 2 page version (the illustration is taken from Weird Tales):

And here's the original 🫣:

My Savage World Personality Generator may pair well with the dungeon. Find it here.